


Sugar Never Tasted So Good

by mywholecry



Category: Panic At The Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ordinary People, Community: anon_lovefest, Foursome - M/M/M/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-02
Updated: 2011-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 01:11:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mywholecry/pseuds/mywholecry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Brendon loves his job. He might be the only Dairy Queen employee in the entire country to really, really love his job, to be smiling and honest-to-god happy to serve you from opening until closing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sugar Never Tasted So Good

**Author's Note:**

> Written very quickly for a prompt anon_lovefest. Just on the edge of crack!fic and also the very first thing I wrote in bandom.

Brendon loves his job. He might be the only Dairy Queen employee in the entire country to really, really love his job, to be smiling and honest-to-god happy to serve you from opening until closing.

“We get free ice cream,” he says, to nobody in particular. “We get to spread joy to people everywhere.”

“And heart disease. Childhood obesity. Early death,” Ryan says, from across the room, his nose wrinkling while he wipes off the tables. Brendon would think that Ryan was really cute when he wrinkles his nose and his lips do that funny thing they do when he has to actually work, but Brendon still isn’t sure that Ryan actually has a soul. He never eats anything that’s served at the Dairy Queen. Not even the soft serve. Not even the _soft serve_. It’s pretty suspect.

“Free ice cream,” Brendon repeats, emphatically. He’s sitting on the counter next to Spencer, who’s counting the money from the register, saying the numbers under his breath and biting his lip in concentration. Brendon angles his head to try to watch him without being too, too obvious, and then Jon Walker grabs his arm and tugs him down to the floor.

“We have left-over tater tots,” he says, waggling his eyebrows, and Brendon grins at him.

“Score.”

*

It’s probably a bad idea for Brendon to have this giant crush on Spencer.

It’s probably a worse idea that he also has a crush on Jon. And maybe Ryan. But Brendon has a lot of love to give, okay? He’s totally companionable and shit, and they’re all pretty fantastic in their own ways. Like, Spencer’s smile and his unironic appreciation of glitter combined with Jon’s hugs and soft facial hair and Ryan’s creepy eye-linered intensity turns into this force of awesome that Brendon is completely powerless against.

He’s also sad and obvious about it. Pete laughs at him, when he wanders in on occasion to fulfill his duties as manager, which actually seem to consist entirely of flirting with underage customers and laughing at Brendon.

It’s hard to be somebody who cares so much.

*

Brendon wasn’t actually aware that Ryan and Spencer were dating. He knew about the whole married since they were five, cuddly BFFs, slept in the same twin bed thing, but he didn’t know that it extended to hot making out in semi-public places. Or, at least, he didn’t until he witnesses Ryan crowding Spencer against the wall in the men’s bathroom after closing, long fingers in his hair. Spencer makes this low, soft noise into Ryan’s mouth, sliding his hands into the back pockets of Ryan’s ridiculously tight pants, and Brendon should really not be watching this.

He shuts the door as quietly as possible and wanders back to the front to pout at Jon.

“Ryan and Spencer are doing sexy things to each other,” he says, leaning into Jon’s side and making big, sad eyes at him until he ruffles Brendon’s hair and slides an arm around his shoulders.

“Without you?” he asks.

“And _you_ , Jon Walker,” Brendon says. “We should not be left out of these things.”

“It’s an injustice,” Jon agrees, solemnly, but Brendon doesn’t think that he’s taking this subject nearly as seriously as it should be taken.

*

Brendon and Jon opened this morning, and Brendon has spent the last two hours watching from behind the counter while Pete seduces Patrick, this tiny, adorable kid who graduated with Ryan, by trying to feed him french fries and suggestively eating a hot dog while the blush on Patrick’s face grows increasingly brighter. He’s starting to wonder if they’ll let him be the best man at their wedding when Spencer storms into the store like a force of nature, Ryan trailing in behind him.

“Hi?” Brendon says, tentative, and Spencer turns this full-force bitchface on him. Except his face is kind of pink and flustered looking, and there are dark circles under his eyes, like he didn’t sleep at all last night, and he looks really young and _small_. He shakes his head at Brendon and disappears into the back.

Brendon looks over at Ryan, whose arms are crossed defensively over his chest. He’s not wearing any eyeliner. Brendon suspects the worst.

*

“Okay, as far as I gathered,” Jon says, hushed even though they’re on their break, standing in the alley outside drinking milkshakes, “Ryan had this giant heterosexual freakout at Spencer last night. There was yelling and insults and possibly a slap fight. Ryan maybe cried.”

“Ryan can cry?” Brendon asks, then: “Oh shit. We left them alone together.”

Jon sighs.

“I’ll take Ryan.”

*

Jon distracts Ryan by lighting up in the storage room, leaving Brendon to comfort Spencer, which he’s pretty sure he was made to do.

“Spencer _Smith_ ,” he says, earnestly, leaning into the counter next to Spencer, moving into his personal space. It’s a good sign that Spencer doesn’t take a step back or try to shove him into the deep fryer or something. “Spencer, Spence, hey.”

Spencer glances over at him, blue eyes clouded over, a little sad looking. There’s this tiny, shaky frown on his face, and Brendon is pretty sure that his heart is breaking a little, because Spencer should never be sad, ever. He considers going in for a hug before pressing on, nudging Spencer’s shoulder, lightly.

“Spencer,” he says, again, “Spencer Smith. You know what?”

“What, Brendon?” Spencer asks, fingers tapping a slow, steady beat on the cash register, turning his eyes away again so Brendon can only see a dark sweep of lashes.  
This is going to be a hit or miss, but he has to say it. He’s been waiting to be set up to say this since pretty much forever.

“You’re _my_ dairy queen,” Brendon says, and it might be a joke, but he means it. He really does.

He waits, because Spencer isn’t looking at him, and this might be the part where he finally sucker-punches Brendon or, or _cries_ , which would be so much worse. Brendon waits, bracing himself, and then Spencer looks up and fucking smiles. Spencer _laughs_ and it might be the most wonderful thing that Brendon has ever heard.

“Thanks, Bren,” Spencer murmurs, and he lets Brendon wrap his arms around his waist and pull him close until another customer comes in.

*

Two weeks later, Jon catches Brendon by the elbow and pulls him into the hallway leading to the restrooms.

“I made out with Ryan,” he says.

“I made out with Spencer!” Brendon replies, because he managed to seduce Spencer two days ago with hand holding and John Cusack movies and Curtis Mayfield crooned softly in his ear. Spencer has really soft lips, and he likes to bite. Brendon kind of wants to marry him, only slightly more than he wants to marry Jon Walker.

“Well,” Jon murmurs. “It’s a tangled web we weave.”

“I’m so glad I hired you guys,” Pete says, grinning at them from the doorway of the men’s room.

*

Brendon has this idea, because he likes Spencer, right? He _loves_ Spencer. He wants to touch him in really dirty ways. But he also gets these squirmy feelings in the pit of his stomach when Ryan flashes him one of those rare human smiles, and he still likes to feel up Jon’s beard way more than he should.

And now Jon and Ryan are doing their weird bro-dating thing, just with more tongues involved, and Spencer has been giving them these sweeping glances that Brendon is completely sure are rife with jealousy, rife. He doesn’t mind. He’s down with Spencer having those feelings, because they fit into his master plan, which can be condensed down to these three basic steps which he had written out on a napkin during his break:

Step 1: Brendon, Spencer, Ryan, and Jon have awesome sex. Together. At the same time.  
Step 2: Everybody praises Brendon for being a handsome genius, preferably with sexual favors. Together. At the same time.  
Step 3: Happily ever after, motherfuckers.

It’s so obvious that he can’t believe they’re not having sex right now.

*

Brendon adds ‘check yes or no’ and two small boxes below his list before showing it to Jon, bouncing on the balls of his feet while he watches him read it. Jon’s eyebrows rise higher up his forehead with every step, but he’s smiling when he finishes.

“They’re never going to go for this,” he says.

“Don’t be a cynic, Jon Walker,” Brendon replies and hands him a pen.

*

Brendon rewrites his plan carefully on two separate napkins and takes them to Ryan and Spencer, saying, “Secret ballot, shh” and running away as fast as he can.

*

Later, he is hiding in the storage room with Jon, because Ryan and Spencer have been yelling at each other for three hours, which has apparently scared all the customers away. He’s beginning to think he should go out once it gets quiet for a long time, because there might have been a murder-suicide or something, but then Spencer and Ryan walk in. Everybody stares at each other for this terrible, tense moment before they step forward and drop their napkins in his lap.

Brendon holds his breath.

He looks at them, and he’s pretty sure that his heart actually stops for a beat or two before he can find his voice and say, weakly, “the ayes have it.”

Ryan has already found a place next to Jon and fumbled for his hand, lacing their fingers together tightly, and Spencer fits himself into the gap and takes Ryan’s hand, Brendon’s hand. Spencer is shaking a little and his palms are slick, and Brendon knows that he’s having giant doubts about whether this could work. And he doesn’t know whether it will, not for sure, but this is pretty much everything that he’s ever wanted, so. It can’t hurt to try.

Brendon looks over at Jon and sees him smiling at him, eyes all soft and dark at the edges. They could make some weird, sexy circle of friendship if Brendon moved around to take his other hand, and he wonders briefly if they’re just going to do this and not get into the stuff that requires nudity and preferably beds.

He squeezes Spencer’s hand tighter and hopes he passes it on.


End file.
